Captured Mermaid Jar

Don't stop believing!
Hold on to the feeling! oh yes!!!

LIVE Out Loud
LAUGH Out Loud ;-)

Make that your mantra and resolution for this coming 2009
It certainly is mine ;-)


How did you do that? a couple of friends of my daughter asked when they saw this mermaid sitting in my deck getting some California sunshine, and when i was about to answer he said (and I am hoping i can typed his words in the exact same way he express them) "she is a mermaid herself, she can only do that, you see, that's dedication, focus, passion and desire to believe in magic and possibility, in the good in everyone and everything"

I went speechless.

And well, yes, I am a mermaid, believing in possibility, while making my dreams come true creatively with fun and lots of playtime, with no expectations, only this moment counts and yes, to be honest, "that moment" listening to him talking of my passion and calling me a mermaid...
sighs!!!

.........

When the time was right, I noticed the light, In an elevator, I am not sure for how long, but i certainly remember a morning, now i have learned that for several years we shared the same early elevator but only like i said when the time was right I noticed that pair of blue eyes ;-)

All of this time, He patienly waiting for me to look in his direction. Me? my eyes and heart were in a different direction and situation, learning and enduring, and then one very sad day, I realized that my ex partner was living in a world of illusion and I couldn't fight it, he really believe that was real...(tears)
I was alone with no help only my love for him, yes I did love him very much, so deeply, I wanted so much to be with him forever, live my fairytale with him but that didn't mean much to that person, no way ever to win over his weakness...
and then, as expected, he wasn't honest again and left while I was at work...

That was okay, now I know.
Now, I realized he wasn't the one to grow old...

The time came to let go...of course there was hours of sadness and confussion, and of being scared, too. Unfortunately, I couldn't grieve, I had to act to survive and give my daughter and pets a new home, and that meant letting them go too, I couldn't afford that life anymore.
And the time came for the grieving, unfortunately when my body was sick, and, in that time when the anesthesia gets you, not good, not at all! I remember so well, don't know how but I waited for everyone to leave my room and then I asked the nurse if it was okay if I could cry, she said yes.
It came so painful. The following days were challenging days, and to be honest fear almost take over my spirit but couldn't allow it, no way! It is time, time to heal, to stand up, this mermaid is a very courageous fighter! and a hopeful believer! Time to begin, oh yes, to begin again!
START ALL OVER AGAIN!
Yes, yes, yes!!!

Yes, Mari, my very lovely blog reader and friend, thank you for your comment last week:

Carmen, A dreamer of fairies and painting her life on a canvas
An honest person who shares her life with us
Very inspiring-We can always start all over again
Sweet and caring
Lives her life with her arms wide open
The length of the ocean is her love to us
The light of my life
A good friend
Mari

So yes, Someone has told me of his love for me. And slowly and carefully, I have been watching and observing him. He seems a honorable compassionate person, dedicated father, a leader of many and loved by his work partners and friends (he teaches so I have overheard his male students whispering: she is hot! They are talking about me!!! LOL and the girl students keep smiling and love my jewelry).
Yes, this is very cool and such a different environment.
Yes, he is someone so very different from any man I've ever met, and yes, he is very sweet to me and my daughter and makes me laugh and smile a lot ;-) And Did I say he with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes, amazing smile, and handsome ;-) And he is a golfer! a great one! That's right, he is the one who has been teaching me to play golf, and yes, I have to confess to you: I stink at it, LOL. But oh boy! golfers have something, a certain thing, te-hee!

Do you believe in connections? I do, I do, I do!!!!
LOL

Cross your fingers, send me a nice thought and wish me lots of luck on everything.

"Just a small town girl, livin in a lonely world (well not so lonely, so many kindred spirits like you all)
She took the midnight train goin anywhere" (that's for sure)

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009!!!
Mermaid Carmen

p.s. Do you want to see a captured fairy jar and jar full of wishes?
yes? Please click HERE or in my old blog, too;-)

Now, if you have a chance and for some more mermaid action, this movie rocks! Bedtime stories is adorable!
Also, there is a little film of my jar HERE but my dog got in the way when i was filming it so that's the white thing you will see on it ;-) LOL

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live out loud

If you ask me what I came to do in this world, I will answer you:
I am here to LIVE OUT LOUD
-Emile Zola and me, Carmen Nessman ;-)

Wings, check!
Tails, check!
thread and needle, check!
imagination and enthusiasm, check!
Come on! Let's go!
LOL
xx
Carmen

This 10 by 10 Mermaid Art quilt will be assembled into a SINGLE art quilt and will be sold in 2009 in a fundraising event to help raise even more donations to the Susan G Komen for the cure.
Once again! Thank you to our lovely Monica Magness who has put once again another event to benefit such a noble cause and for letting me be part of this along with 2 by 2's left overs by other wonderful pink artists, what a great honor! Oh my!!!
Thank you so much!
My day is very bright because of you ;-)
Thank you very much!
You rock Monica!
Art on!

Thrive

...when i grow up, i want to be an old beautiful, healthy, fabulous, lovely woman ;-)

THRIVE...

ohhhh! uhhhh!
I love this Kaiser Permanente tv commercial!

And Yes, yes, yes, to LIVE OUT LOUD and JUICY!!!

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Do you remember that I mentioned before that because of my friend I have been to Kaiser permanente several times these past days? well, just to let you know, they were Angels to my friend, and to me, I love their fast action and lovely HUMANNESS medical service, God bless every single person who works in the medical field specifically on holiday time, that's to admire! oh! and very important to mention too: how very cute handsome every single doctor was, I think I am inlove with a couple of them, te-hee! ;-) Did I say I believe in living out loud? LOL ;-)

Now, It is time to say Thank you to TWO believers of LIVING LA VIDA OUT LOUD AND JUICY ;-)

Check out the following pictures, I am the happy owner of this handmade and heartfelt stocking, and a fantastic mermaid print of Lisa's original painting, Yay for me! and double Yay for FABULOUS SUPER TALENTED Artist and blog friend Lisa! I can tell you lots about Lisa and her art and work in bloglandia, and how she inspires you to believe in yourself by organizing lots of events, projects, parties, and challenges like the "Project Blogway" and not to mention how she is always telling what's new with other bloggers or if someone is in need of some words or prayers, and personally, with me, she has taken the time to read my blog and write very special notes specially when I needed them the most, so I know she reads my blog and cares, Lisa: thank YOU very much, you rock! Please check her art and life HERE. Also, please know that Lisa is the host of the world blog event "One world-One heart" and because of the worldwide!!! magnitude this event reached last year she was featured in "artful blogging magazine", you can read more about it here, also, if you are interested in participating, please do! it is a lot of fun and lots of original art and most important great blogs and persons to meet, this is going to be my third very happy time participating and I am all excited about it.



Now, If there is someone who believes in living out loud and juicy, and offers very honest everyday stories of herself as an artist, wife,(God bless her american husband for being so understanding and spoiling her a lot) mother, daughter, friend, singer, 9 to 5 worker, and shares her real family life stories, and cuban world in Florida with such spontaneity, and great sense of humor, someone who leaves the most lovely positive, wise (and witty, too and I adore and admire that gifted side of her, too) and she is one of my number one cheerleaders, she is my super di duper AMIGAZA del alma and fabulous mermaid friend Ileana who I am hoping to meet real soon, and I can't wait to see her, and give her a big huge hug and be part of her world for at least a couple of days. I have this sense that we are going to be partying and having way too many cocktails and vino tinto together in Miami, hey! we HAVE TO celebrate your 40 yr old birthday ;-)
Ayyyyayyy! Caramba!!! LOL
Ileana thank YOU very much for this care mail package and the surprise, too, heyy! look what I got! Gifts from the heart!
Thank you very much!



when i grow up, i want to be an old beautiful, healthy, fabulous, lovely woman ;-)
love, big hug and muau!!!
LOL ;-) and LIVE OUT LOUD, yay!!!!
Carmen

p.s. THRIVE. Spread health! Recommendded screening mammography every year for women, beginning at age 40
Check and pay attention to your body.

The curious case of Benjamin Button

Well, this movie in my opinion is very good, I do not wish to spoil the movie for you BUT make sure you bring a box of tissues with you or like we say in Spanish, your kleenex.
What else I have been enjoying besides movies? Mica!!! oh my! I am loving it! it gives an amazing look to my pendants!
Also, this and this, too ;-)
Life is good, Yes, it is!
Love you all!
And thank you for your love and comments, I am off from work for the rest of the week, yay!!! and guess what I am doing? I am playing in the mermaid studio, oh yes!!!
you will see what I am up to real soon, maybe tomorrow ;-)
How was your Christmas? what's new? any special gifts? I got gifts from a couple of you (super di duper! and i am showing them of asap here) and a gift card for art supplies! yay!!!
Love, hugs, and peace!
Carmen

p.s. Thank you! thank you very much for your lovely comments in my last post.
Sometimes or a lot of time better said, it is very scary to come out clean and say this is what I feel, this is my truth, this is my heart, my goofy, naive, and forgiving heart I have to offer.
I love you for your understanding and help to heal my heart in a very lovely compassionate way, for not judging me...
Thank you!

Merry Christmas

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Last night, my daughter received in the mail gifts from her grandparents, she was so happy! she had that unique sparkle in her eyes...
I am so so so very happy to see her enjoying her wrapped Christmas presents. I couldn't help myself while watching her and our pretty Christmas tree to be reminded of my childhood days.

I realize just now that I haven't shared ever with you about my Christmas day as a little girl back in Mexico and Today I don't really want to make this a long post but in a few words, For sure, I know my love for Christmas day came from those old happy days around noisy happy adults making sure all of us children were having fun in a cozy safe house decorated with all kind of festive colorful ornaments and lights, and good food to feed an army and music! And yes, this whole thing starts on Christmas eve!

Probably, if you are not familiar with my culture, all of this must sound like a crazy party, but in Mexico, Christmas is a huge thing to celebrate in many ways, specifically, religiously speaking and also, to be thankful for what we have and, to make children feel loved and special.
I guess you can call this our "thanksgiving day"

And, well, for the past, oh my gosh! more than twenty years(time flies!) I have been celebrating Christmas with a mix of American ways and Mexican ways.

This year, 2008, It is certainly has been a most challenging one and now for sure, my Christmas time will be, too, but that's okay, for me, for my mermaid heart this Christmas is going to be a good one, si, si, si!!! one to remember and somehow, and for sure, to treasure in a lovely way forever.

The truth, this December has been an unusual one, I have been juggling with so many things, with life in general but in good ways, don't get me wrong. Also please know that in the next list I may sound like a Grinch but believe me, my heart is content and satisfied, just wait, keep reading, I have good reasons to have been saying no in order to please myself.
Also, Please know that I don't usually talk about this to anyone but to be honest besides the hurt and dissapointment of letting go and realizing that it is better that way, I had a though year economically speaking because of the changes and transitions. But I am getting there, unfortunately saying no to things I love like gift giving to others but in the long run it is for my own good and future.

Like I said before, because of diverse circumstances, my way of celebrating Christmas this year has been unusually different. It does feel weird but at the same time i have been feeling okay about it.

-didn't go to my company's lunch party
-didn't do any shopping at all
-didn't send out any cards
-no girl scouts nuts
-no presents to anyone (only for my daughter)
-no tamales, no cooking, no baking

Instead, this is what I have done pretty much for the past two weeks:

-I became a regular to kaiser permanente ;-) one of my friend had a health condition and we had to run to the emergency room.
-and then again, another emergency! which led me to spent some more time in a pre-op and a post-op room giving encouragement to that same friend because after all, I know what it is to be there and going through a medical procedure alone.
-I helped my friend to clean and care for those two "bubus"
-i played in my mermaid studio because I realized that I can always make up for Christmas next year and I have been good to everyone around me so instead I nourished my soul and heart playing arts and crafts
-I called my parents and told them everything was fine because it is
-i got a Christmas tree just last week, i know, a week before Christmas day, but that's ok, my daughter and I decorated with very magical results ;-)
-i blow bubbles on Sunday, a mermaid's favorite ;-)
-i got soak and wet with the latest and most unusual rains for December
-I am reading blogs, yours specifically ;-)
-AND, I have some great news which I received in a couple of emails but see, it has been so much going on and i really want to make it very special and write about it because it is super cool, okay, here it is a hint: it is regarding three of my posts in this, my humbly blog and the stuff I created handmade and heartfelt for those three posts, so yes, there are some possibilities, mermaid wishes ;-)

You see, I am not a grinch, I am not a boring mermaid, LOL, I am a busy one! one that realizes that sometimes some plans or things are just not meant to happen, and oh God! Have I learned this more than once this past year? So once again, I am letting go, letting God, forgiving and understanding persons, learning from it, and for sure being very good and compassionate towards myself a lot.

And oh! as a funny curious thing, Do you know what my friend said to me: you don't panic, stress or worry at all, how do you do that?
I smiled, didn't say a thing, and inside my head, i just thought: if you only knew, if you only knew...

Well, this became a long post, LOL ;-)

I am wishing you a wonderful merry merry Christmas! Mine will be lovely.
Oh yes!
LOL
Merry Christmas!
xxooxx
Carmen the mermaid who keeps things in her heart for the longest time.

p.s. gotta tell you about this one, can't believe this myself but I guess I am good on this.

Baby, it's cold outside!

It's Friday!!!
And it is very cold, brrrrr!!!
Time to enjoy movies at home!!!
By my own (very first time ever!) fireplace! Double yay!

This video contains my three very favorite scenes from one of my favorite Christmas movie.

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Have a wonderful weekend! A few more days for Christmas, yay!!!
Hugs!
Carmen ;-)

"The best way to spread Christmas Cheer, is singing loud for all to hear"
-Buddy from the movie "Elf"

Handmade and heartfelt

Handmade and heartfelt by two beautiful talented mermaids ;-)
Oh yes!!! Treasures, treasures, treasures in the mail for a mermaid by mermaids!!!
Oh yes! That's my kind of mail! Care mail!!!
Thank you! thank you! thank you!!!!

The first four lovely postcard collages by Diana (check out that mermaid! love it!) and heat embossed Christmas card with handstamped envelope (my name looks so cool!) and ornament by Amy.

Thank you very much!!!
I am dancing with happiness! Please know that I am very thankful and you two are very special to me and I think I know I am to you, too! THANK YOU!!!
You TWO, Diana and Amy, make a big difference in my life! Also please know that Those cards, collages and ornament are decorating my mermaid studio and making it look so inspiring and inviting with the love and dedication I know was involved when they were made for me!!! Yay! Double yay!!! ;-)

Now, SOMEONE was celebrating her birthday, someone is a VERY HAPPY to be a 40 yr old woman!!!! yes! yes! yes!!!!
and guess what? she is getting a couple of my mermaid pendants in the mail (See post below, te-hee!) hopefully she has them in her possesion now and, hopefully I am not spoiling the surprise (te-hee!)
I love you Amiga Ileana! Happy Birthday!!!
And I love you Diana!
And I love you Amy!
I love you ALL of you! please know that!
All I want for Christmas is your friendship FOREVER!!!
LOL
Hugs, and love and peace!
Carmen

p.s. you know, I haven't done any shopping at all, things aren't important as much at this moment, well, to be honest, only, crafts and art supplies to play and create and make people happy. Other than that, I am not expecting anything material at all and, all I want is to give and receive LOVE, that's all!!!
I am enjoying the moments, the NOW!
The simplicity of life makes me whole! complete!
Yay for simplicity!
LOL
My heart is at peace and content.

I am thankFULL ;-)

Pendants

I've been busy for sure
Hugs to you all!
Carmen

p.s. what have you been doing lately?

Jessie's girl

You want to see me go crazy happy?
LOL

just play this song by Rick Springfield and I will dance and make whoever is around me dance too, ohh and then I will start telling you everything about that song and how old I was (14-15) and what my girlfriends did, of course, yes, we were jumping in bed with that song and kissing the poster of him (notice I didn't, I was shy about it at the time, nowadays I am not!, te-hee! LOL)

And yes, you bet!!! 13 going on 30 is one of my very favorite movies because of Jessie's girl, and also because of that scene when all the teenagers and Jennifer Garner start jumping and dancing in the bed with Pat Benatar's Love is a battlefield, oh yes!!! and the thriller scene, i just love it!
Okay, I have to go home now, I have to go watch that movie AGAIN for the millionth time, te-hee!!! Great thing my daughter loves it too ;-)

I am an 80's girl at heart!
Hugs to you all!
Carmen

p.s. yes, this movie is super fun and yes, a couple of tears (happy ones) are in my eyes now. And I can't believe it but in a couple of months I am going to be 40 and I still love to dance and jump in bed with that song, te-hee! ;-)

And please, let's not talk about my hair, te-hee! oh yes! it was strange, the new wave kind, no not the big lots of hairspray, it was the strangest one for sure ;-)

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Viva La Vida

Gloria titled her blog Viva la Vida so everytime I visit her blog, I can't help to start singing this beautiful full of spiritual imagery song and say:

YES! yes! yes!
VIVA LA VIDA!!!
Long Live Life!!!

If you can, PLEASE watch this video all the way to its end, watch those children, specifically their innocent full of passion way of interpreting the lyrics, Don't you love watching their diversity and the peace and joy in their eyes?
Beautiful!

Hugs to you all!
mermaid me ;-)

p.s. Let go of control. Enjoy life as it is, you will have a lot more fun if you do, I am having tons of fun ;-) Heyy! It's all about LOVE, tell everybody! Hugs!

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I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
I know Saint Peter will call my name
Never an honest word
But that was when I ruled the world

For some reason I can't explain
Once you go there was never
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind
Blew down the doors to let me in
Shattered windows and the sound of drums
People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries wait
For my head on a silver plate
Just a puppet on a lonely string
Oh who would ever want to be king?

Imagine

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
-John Lennon
October 1940 – 8 December 1980)

Well, let me say that with LK Ludwig's challenges I feel like I do want to continue making this month of December "a sharing of songs and poems, too" and it seems to me that everyone coming to visit me here in my blog is enjoying this too so i absolutely wish that you share with me your songs and if possible your whys, too. Yes? LOL ;-)
I am planning to share more songs this coming week and other things, too.

Also, last week, Scarlet asked in her blog if someone has ever written a song for us.
I was giggly happy to answer yes to her, and fortunate to say that it has been songs and poems, too! yay!!!
Each time has been very sweet and special to me and those men, God bless those men's hearts for making me feel special at their time.
I am absoultely blowing a kiss and whispering a thank you to them ;-)
Also, there is a song which of course wasn't written for me but I treasure dearly in my heart this memory of this special someone telling me "you know, everytime I listen to this sad song I think of you", He played it for me and guess what? It was one of my very favorite songs, and yes indeed, it is a very sad song.
How about you? Does anyone has ever written a song or poem for you?
Please share, yes?
hugs!
Carmen

p.s. uppss!!! forgot to share that special song. Here it is the link, Click HERE.
And one more thing, you see the pictures above and the one below? I found that ace of hearts card, and the three hearts yesterday in my walk.
I am loved, right? LOL

Leonard Cohen's week ;-)

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

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Lala Lala lalaLara...

I HAVE TO share this song, too!!! and I say I have to because If there is someting I completely believe is LOVE, oh yes! that one! the everlasting one! the one that exist in me, in you, and it's exclusively made for me, for each one of us! and it is VERY EASY to find it for anyone who really opens its heart to it.
Yes, it is out there and DOES exist.

And yes! I am loved and I deeply love back ;-)

Lala Lala lalaLara...

LOL ;-)
LOVE is in the air! Let's dance to the end of love!
Enjoy this music and lyrics by my favorite poet.
Hugs!
mermaid me ;-)

p.s. busy mermaid life happening as I type this so you may not hear from me here in my blog for a few days but you can always come and visit me here or here.
I thank you for your lovely comments. Please know that I pray and wish YOU only the best ;-)

Sharing my song

As you may know by now, I have an incredible fascination with the written word, its power, and also, what is or was in the author heart's and mind at the time.

I can spend a good amount (and love it!) of time with poems, song lyrics, author's biography's and my notebook. They are one of the main inspiration for my muse when I collage, journal, or anytime I play arts and crafts ;-)

It wasn't hard to choose a song for the lovely LK Ludwig blog challenge: "A little more sharing" although I have to confess my list of favorite songs is long. In fact, I think It would be a great idea to take a picture of "that list" and their meaning in my own life.

Why I choose Leonard Cohen's Suzanne? The very first time I listened to that song, I said Again, again!!! play it again! I run and grab a pencil trying to catch the words. And oh my! those words with their sensuality and mysticism, both together led me to try to figure the mystery and meaning of "that woman".
And not to forget the mention of WATER. And a certain MIRROR!!!
I am a mermaid after all!

Oh yes! Suzanne has greatest lyrics in my opinion.
It is daring perfect song for its time.
Suzanne is my song, absolutely! and I agreed with my dear Julie there is a Suzanne in all of us.

And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that she will trust you
For you've touched her perfect body
with your mind

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And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she's touched your perfect body
with her mind