behind the scenes

Email from Christine:

How are you?
I realize that some difficult times are going to be part of the process as you get over your break-up ~ you seem to be holding up well on your blog, I was just wondering how you're doing "behind the scenes". I see that you're still being creative and able to enjoy things, as much as ever~ that's always a good sign!

Email from Joan:

I miss you dearly... and think of you often... I wonder how your new life is treating you... how in the midst of so much change you manage to grasp all the beauty in your daily comings and goings... and of course when I think of you I secretly wonder how your precious heart is faring.

I hold you up in prayer and awe and ask God to not only shield your heart, but also to beckon you to things you never experienced before... to behold a whole new world with the eyes of a child...

Ok, I think it is fair to give you ladies an answer here in my blog since you have been walking with me in good times and in these times of my life changes, too.
And like Joan said in part of her email:
the incredible way that blogging connects us all with this invisible strand of 'knowing' and 'camaraderie'... it mystifies me and humbles me that our words and our stories connect us with these heartstrings that are strong enough to sustain almost anything.... how wondrous is that?
I love this sisterhood, too. A LOT!!!

And yes, I have to tell my story like I have said many times before, Let's hope I might or could touch deeply another one for good.

As you know by now, I have and still, am making lots of changes, after getting away from a long counterproductive and difficult situation.

I noticed that when I stopped the asking of the whys to myself. Everything started to go well. I felt better, released, liberated!
Yes, I am doing fine, excellent! I dare to say that my life is better than ever. No denying that sometimes some changes have caused fears and lots of agitation, and tears because I am letting go someone I have believed was a part of me.
And the longing. Don't ask please.
That feeling for me is so strange and very confusing, and hard to handle. I specifically remember one day, a very confusing tearful day caused by longing...

But the desire of my soul to move forward and leave the old pattern behind, to see beauty with my own eyes again, to find what it is real and discover what is true, to recover faith and trust again is very VERY strong.

Thank heavens for Meditation and Prayer and then for the realization! big parts of my life right now.
And ACTION!
Creativity and art, too.
And my Daughter and you, my friends.
Thank YOU!!!
And saying: Yes, yes, yes!!!
Yes to every single day. I say YES to life, yes to joy, yes to whatever comes...yes to fear, yikes! but firmly, I say Sure! yes!!!
I am my own healer! I carefully have taken the garden of my heart and mind with my green mermaid thumb because I TOTALLY know that Today and tomorrow is very different from yesterday.
YES!
I am blooming again and growing, I am watching, and enjoying everything in my life NOW, and my now feels great!
I am appreciating. And I am laughing more! All is well!
and yes, Christine, I am creating more. And I am going to this, LOL!!!!
I will be wearing a cute dress and nice sexy high heels for sure ;-)
These are some pages from my journal where all I am trying to say is Let it go of what it is not!
Let it go, let it go, let it go... and yes, yes, yes, yes!
heyy! I am not just a woman! I am a survivor, a fighter and warrior! and loving and beautiful mermaid...
Bad things carry a message, the message of yes, this too shall pass and you will truly see good things again, and, I trust that love will find me again and I will welcome it, yes! yes! yes!
YES I am doing great "behind the scenes" ;-)
love, light and sea magic to you all!
mermaid me

Beauty

If only we are wise enough to stop and set aside a moment
amidst the demands and distractions of our daily lives,
to truly see the beauty that surrounds us,
to hear the sounds of birdsong,
to taste a peach and smell the roses,
to touch the one we love.
-Elizabeth Millar



for more beauty in my garden, click here to see my roses, here (my peaches) and here for my zuchinni;-)
I am happy, yay!!!
How about you? what's making you happy? Tell me about the beauty surrounding you Today.
mermaid me.

Peanut Butter

For the past months, I have been weighting situations and making many decisions...
and I am making them right.
This is a right decision.

As much as I love my three dogs: Maya, Morty, and Tobie, (and they are very happy with me)... I am very positive... Maya needs a new home.

Comments are off but I want you to know that I am ok, and I am moving forward. An old day ends and a new day begins.

Good bye Peanut butter lips!
You are going to be ok!
I miss you already dearly and deeply!
always your mommy,
mermaid me.

heart's desire

Imagination
You can't think how
I depend on you,
and when you're
not there, the
color goes out
of my life.
-Virginia Woolf



I am here at work, and couldn't resist to post these collages of mine Again!
They make feel good...
and daydream...

I can't wait to get home to get my hands in the dirt, play in the garden for a while and then after that, again, get them messy with glue or paint, because yes, for me, that is also a big part of the joyful fun of creating and expressing the colors of my imagination and of my life and discovering once again what my heart is telling me...

yes!!!
I'm all for listening and following my heart's desire!
And do whatever feels good to me, whatever energize me and make me feel alive, whatever heals me and keeps me grounded.

That's why I love to play with words and colors, and paper and glue and scissors, and taking pictures, writing, gardening, cooking, making jewelry, assembling collages, sewing, blogging, selling and becoming an entrepreneur!!!
even the everyday dressing up!
Because I am just me!
I am acknowledging the beauty of just being me...

What feels good to you? dancing? singing? writing? sketching? painting? or altering an old book? quilting? Please share!!!

Let's keep reminding ourselves to acknowledge our talents and just BE!

Let's make ART part of our life!
yes! Today and from now on!
You have an artist within! Please have no doubts about it!
I don't!
Accept any talent you have, develop it, and...
practice, practice, practice ;-)
What are you waiting? Let's play!!!
love, light and sea magic,
mermaid me

"Let the beauty you love be what you do"
-Rumi

p.s. Don't forget about Loes wish jar project and gallery, make some time and try to make one, please???

beauty of wonder and surprise

beauty is twice
beauty
and what is good is doubly
good


These are Pablo Neruda's words from "Ode to my Socks" and if you wish you can click the link, it will take you to read the whole poem which is about the soul finding satisfaction in the exquisite beauty of life, in everyday life!!! sometimes found in mundane objects, too! Like socks or perhaps a mermaid wearing many pieces of handmade jewelry, and cute shoes, LOL ;-)

This is what I wish to share Today:
I enjoy finding divinity in everyday happenings, persons, and why not? I admit it, I enjoy the very mundane things, too.
What a delight for me! I am alive!!! I can enjoy what's in front of my eyes! why go anywhere else? if I can touch and taste and see and speak or write! CREATE!!! LOL
My eyes are open and look with wonder. I want to be surprised! and celebrate what is right here before me.
I am confident that by now, all of you know of my love for nature and all living things, and of my spirituality and eclectic beliefs, and totally, I am for the gentle care and nurturing of the heart and the soul. Specifically, my own ;-)

Today like Pablo Neruda, I do applaud the material and what it is behind it, yes!
the connections, the associations, the memories...

Today I want to say that I am a willing participant in this world, i want to enjoy it whole, to its pain and also its joy, which is good doubly good!

My life is richer because I have incorporated both, the spiritual, and what the Universe offers me with an open mind.
My life is richer because of the bridges created with a blog. Even my road to healing and mending my broken heart has been a blessing with you by my side.

Today, after being surprised by three mermaid friends with this handmade Frida by Monica, and this adorable heart by Pixiedust, and this painting of seaweed sisters by Pattie (please check out her colorful affirmations), I decided to offer three little handmade and heartfelt gifts to bright your day and to express my gratitude, my joy, my WONDER, my humility, and above all, my LOVE.

So, come on! who doesn't like gifts? gifts from a mermaid!!!
Gifts have such a glow, right??? freely given, LOL, warmth (lots of it), attention, care, handmade, heartfelt, friendship, and belonging!

Also Today, I want to invite you to go and take a look and learn and if possible, to participate with Loes creating your own wish jar to help us to focus on our dreams and wishes.
It sounds great to me! Creating something is super cool! and it is all about reusing and recycling stuff you have around your house or from the dollar store.
I assure you are going to have lots of fun. so let's play with her, I am game!

Don't you love the idea of a pretty jar to honour and cherish your dreams and wishes?
I do!
Do you remember this post about me capturing a fairy in a jar?
It was super fun, oh yes!!!
I would love to see your Wish Jars in the Wish Jar Gallery. Please? yes? yes!!!

Life is a DREAM...
Realize it!!!
love, light and sea magic,
mermaid me

p.s. three persons will be chosen randomly by a little mermaid, my daughter, and as soon as I can I will mail the gifts ;-)

Faux de Fa Fa

I LOVE this song!!! and TOTALLY enjoy their tv show, too!
And they even have one about mermaids (how cool is that!!?), LOL. Click the links, have fun, smile or even better: laugh!!! LOL

How is your weekend going? Mine is lovely, at home with my daughter enjoying a very SUNNY California weather (80 degrees) and a cup of morning coffee.

Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

Thank YOU very much for your comments in my previous post about names, Thank YOU very much!!!
Totally!!!

From Flight of the Conchords Episodes

mermaids, mermaids, mermaids!!!!
LOL

Search Video Codes

Carmen

Imagine you can change your name...
What would you choose? maybe the name of someone you admire or a name that sounded good and different? a foreign name? a mystical name? or maybe you would like a name you can make a statement to the world or perhaps just to yourself?
what would YOU want it to say about you?

Here it is my answer:

I am Carmen, I am! and I aim to be!!!

No denying that I would like to be a Frida, Isabel, Carla or Sandra.

But I think that I am Carmen.
It suits me real well!
My father chose my name.
And I remember my mother singing my name beautifully.
It is a parent's job to make children feel special, and I think they did their job wisely and very well ;-)

so yes! You bet! I love my name ;-)

Carmen is a latin name, and a Spanish name as well.
In latin it means: poem, song, incantation.
In Spanish, means: Garden

To me, the name MEANS and IS:

intense, active, energetic, independent, determined, courageous, creative, unique, hopeful, talented, intuitive, joyful, passionate!!!

My name is original. Beautiful. Exotic. Magical. Powerful!!!
And it is Angelical and mermaidshhh, too ;-)

I think I have a great name to leave my mark in the world!
I take pride when someone starts singing or compared my name to Carmen, the gypsy heroine for Bizet, one of the world's most popular operas, and a very romantic, passionate, and tragic one.

I feel contented when I learned of someone telling me of its interest and appreciation for my name. And how perfectly suits me because then, it means that I am special and loved by that person ;-)

your turn!
you DON'T need to tell me about your name (remember for the majority of you, I already know your names)
For readers and friends of my blog, Keeping your privacy is quiet allright with me.
but it will be nice to learn how do you feel about your name, what it means to you? or would you like to change it for a new one, why?
Would you like to share that with me?
you can always email me if you do not wish to leave me your thoughts here, yes??? yes!

love, light and Sea magic, to you forever,
mermaid me ;-)

Mermaid weekend

Beyond living and dreaming,
there is something more important:
Waking up.


How was your weekend? How was your Mother’s day?
Mine was lovely.
My whole weekend was full of joy, discovery, magic, kindness, and love.
It was a weekend with a beautiful young girl, great company, and children and a baby!!! Amazing California weather, and, some fabulous mundane things like food, books, gifts, a baseball game, new places to see, and some shopping in etsy.
And guess what, there was some reading of poetry. Too. Yay!!!
Also, nature offered me lots of oranges and flowers.
And, I also had a lovely time in my garden watching how height everything is and spreading and growing.
Yes, as you can see, Creativity and fun times were the best big part of my fabulous weekend! I am so inspired and energized to start this new week.
By the way, I am going to have a busy week, I may not have much time to write BUT I will save my free time to visit and read blogs, I will try my best, for sure, and as always, I will show you my life with pictures so please come by my flickr hopefully for you to enjoy some of my very mundane life in pictures ;-)

Your turn! yes! your turn!
Tell me about your weekend, how was it?

Love and light to you! and sea magic, too ;-)
mermaid mommy me

Happy Mother's Day! everyday!!!

Random Acts of kindness

Strawberries !!!

Chocolate !!!

Fridays !!!


Yay !!!!!!!!!!!
One more time...
Yay !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL

Ok, before I go, I have something to share.
You know, there are persons out there who aren't bloggers and read my blog and don't comment BUT sometimes they email me to express their thoughts.
One of them contacted me and after I read her email I asked her if I could share it with you all.
Here it is her wonderful story:

I remember time in San Diego with fondness. I was visiting my daughter who lived there at the time (2002) was in a bad accident...I don't talk about it any more it being over rehearsed. Any way I was being transfered from UCSD to a rehab. The ambulance drivers were so kind. I had told them I had planned on going to Balboa Park the day after I had my accident. At that point, two weeks after the accident, I could only sit in a reclinning chair for an hour. So I was in bed or on a strecher most days. Anyway, they took a detour through Balboa Park, unloaded the gurney and let me experience fresh air and the flowers and the sky. They were just ordinary working folks, who gave me a gift of a lifetime. How precious those moments are to me. Now I can replay them when ever I want to, and can be moved all over again by their kindness. My daughter, now 25 and I are very close. We made the most of my extended visit. I was going to be there 10 days and stayed for 6 weeks. Now, I can go through a day and can forget I was ever in the accident. I could tell people but no one would ever guess. God put me back together, through the skill of caregivers in San Diego. It turned to be a blessing, the time with my daughter, the inner strength I developed. I told you this little snipit of my life, so I am more than a name on a page. I found I am not a true blogger. I seem to lack some of the technical skills and interest to keep a blog alive. I am home doing volunteer work, art, maintaining friendships, and simply enjoying the day. Love to You!
I do enjoy your uplifting blog. You are the definition of a positive attitude colors your world, beautiful. lizzzzzzzzy

First things first.

Lizzzzzzy:
Thank you very much for this story, beautiful, yay!
and yay for San Diego!
where my lovely home and workplace is!
and yes!!! Balboa Park is gorgeous!
And Lizzzzy, you are NOT just a name in a page.
We are friends.
You learn from me with my blog and I learn from you with your emails and art sharing.
We are making a difference, a BIG one!!!
A hopeful fun difference ;-)

And now for the rest of my blogger friends:
You see what a difference we ALL can make with or without a blog.
Please! please, please!
Let's practice RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESSS any chance we can!
With family, friends and strangers!
We ALL need love and kindness!
We all long for it. yes?
yes!!!!!!!!

I love you all!
TOTALLY!!!
love and light to you!
a strawberry, anyone? Yum!!!
mermaid me

Strawberry love : Part two

Do you remember this post?



In one of her emails, my dear friend Christine recommended the movie "Waitress" to me. And as soon as I heard the lyrics of the song which is part of the soundtrack for that movie, all I could think was of my daughter. And couldn't resist and wanted to honor her with a promise.
Coincidentally, Christine loved my post and picture. And told me that she was going to work with her watercolors, but I guess I didn't get her hint ;-)
Well, now I know, and with humbly pride, my daughter and I became her muses...

What do you think?
Isn't it a beautiful art work?
Watercolors.

I was very surprised to open her mail and see myself and my daughter in watercolors, in a piece of WONDERFUL art!!!
To tell you the truth, I have a mix of blood in my genes so I think she did great with my features, my face, yes!!! that's my face! My face became art!!! Christine's art!!! Bless your talented gift! your cretivity and imagination!
Thank you lovely friend, Thank YOU!!! FOREVER!

She wants me to collage it. That's why I haven't show it off in my blog, and the more I look at it everyday the more I love it just the way it is.

Christine:
with all due respect but I can't collage it.
Your art, your creation is so PERFECTLY beautiful and lovely.
All It needs is to be matted and framed.
Lovely friend you, You already know this but I am saying it again, you are my sister, my very kindred spirit, my mirror and inspiration. You know my secrets and pains, my new discoveries and joys, and YOU!!! hold my heart with lots of attention, compassion and friendship, and that is priceless!
God bless you!
I am so glad We even have the same exact interests!!!
And because of your friendship and kind thoughtful words EVERYDAY I am back in the path, following my bliss, being strong and becoming a better me ;-)
I am so glad we crossed paths. And all I wish is to meet you one day and have a great fun joyful day playing in your garden or in mine.

Christine:
I hold you forever in the middle of my heart...
mermaid me

My tears and silence

if we could do nothing for once,

perhaps a great silence would

interrupt this sadness,

this never understanding ourselves

and threatening ourselves with death,

perhaps the earth is teaching us

when everything seems to be dead

and then everything is alive.

-Pablo Neruda from part of the poem "keeping quiet"

My week has been a very interesting one... and yes, I am going to admit it, a very emotional week.
At first against my will, and feeling like my boundaries were crossed and invaded, and then a little ashamed for my tears, then yesterday, I finally get it and accepted it and ... it was ok, everything is fine, and today, and for the rest of my week, I am prepared for whatever is coming because I know it has to be good.
And I am not ashamed of my tears anymore.
I may need to explain you what is happening.
The firm I work for, every year has events for us to bring our families to enjoy and have fun and you know, to socialize and get to know each other in a different environment.
Well, apparently, I have been in my own world and, only a few (two) know about my breakup situation.
So, on Monday I was approached and asked if everyone in my family was ready for the fun time and I say yes, we are! then they asked more... they asked for him and I say he can't make it and suddenly, their faces were not good, and they tried to hug me and I just couldn't let them hug me or say a thing...
no!!! I didn't want the touch and the words, and the kindness...
Now, I know... I was scared...
And, I explained: I am fine, everything is fine, we are allright but then one of the ladies cried, I mean, cried! tears! so my! I told her I was doing great and allowed her to hug me...and... I cried with her. Better said, with them.

"The simple act of accepting a stranger's wish for our happiness empowers us to experience the world in a completely different way." -John Maransky

They brought out some memories for me when they were trying to figure it out the whys and then that made me remember too the beautiful times, "the together times" ... the gardening, the making of jewelry, the times in the kitchen, and oh well! you can figure, yes I cried so bad and to tell you the truth, this is my first time crying with other person about my pain, unfortunately or fortunately, with my coworkers...
But the truth, I didn't really want this to happen in my workplace...
All of this time, working hard and being silent.
Probably too silent...
I haven't missed any day at work for the past months...
I wanted to keep myself busy.
I can see they are very caring and deeply concerned about me...
I can see I am loved by them.
I have been here for several years now and because of the way I am and work, I get their respect and appreciation in lots of nice ways but I didn't expect them to feel sad or sorry for me.
See, this was my choice...
I am good in carrying things inside me and taking care of my business.
I won't show you how I struggle but I absolutely will show you how I LOVE.
I want to live with passion, energy and honesty. I want to be in the present, and to be loving and wise, compassionate, gentle, and living fully, savoring the everyday world of my daughter, friends, love and work.
I have the most sincerest intentions and ambitions.
I am almost completely at peace, truly ok with the way things are right now in this moment.
BUT...
I probably, i have been trying too hard, running too fast and doing too much in order for me to heal and be a light and love to myself and the world and I forgot that I am a fragile beauty, and I am a very human woman...
It is ok that I let myself risk remembering that I haven't stop silently loving that person I once LOVED OUT LOUD and broke my heart...
And it is ok to allow that someone I once knew and loved to come to my mind again.
Someone I have seen at his best and his worst. Someone I loved deeply...
I allowed myself for that moment to feel the love I have for him.
But I did it only in order for me to learn something new: the healing allowing the knowledge of the love and the pain...
and let my tears run...
yes, I have been ignoring the pain
but don't worry, I am fine, my heart is WHOLE AGAIN.
Because in my long moments of solitude, in my undeniable belonging, absolute aloneness, I have prayed and have had meditative conversations with myself and have been coming out with great conclusions and resolutions to extent compassionate and understanding to myself and shine in my own nature and let it go and now, suddenly unfolding my sadness with others.
This crying had to happen.
Today it won't.
I promise it last night to myself.
I cried and I think it is enough ;-)
And please know that I am not ashamed of my tears, no way!!!
Actually, My soul is cleaner and feeling lighter and free because of them.

And I am still planning on going to that baseball game. I have a feeling the rest will be having their questions about my life and I am not worried about it. I am fine, I can't let them get me again into emotions.
I am the present, and that's all I have to do, just enjoy out loud and fully my present ;-)

Light and love to you,
mermaid me

There are lovers content with longing.
I am not one of them.
- Rumi

Make a wish

Just one wish....
...or dream...
are you ready?
now!
blow away beautiful dandelion!
... into the magical wind;-)

What is your wish or dream?
Do you want to know mine?
You first and then I am next ;-)
I will post it in the comments section along with yours

Dear God:

If this wish-dream I have is for my highest good, please show me a way to achieve it.
Help me to have passion for this dream, to have courage and persistence.
If this dream will not benefit me and others, redirect me.
I surrender this concern to you and ask you to fill me with peace.
Amen

Mermaid me ;-)

e.e. cummins poems

maggie and millie and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

millie befriended a stranded star
who's rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea.

In his work, Cummings experimented radically with form, punctuation, spelling and syntax, abandoning traditional techniques and structures to create a new, highly idiosyncratic means of poetic expression. He brought a visual orientation, not only did he play with typography and punctuation marks for special effects, but he also created many poems whose full significance can be understood only when seen in their spatial arrangement on the page.

In my humble opinion, this poem and "my girl's tall with hard long eyes" both in its simplicity stand as my favorite best poems by him.

how is your weekend going?
Mine is full of poetry, sunshine, flowers and love for life.
Much love and light to you!
mermaid me